Beggars and choosers

Portland is a great city, but like any city it has its fair share of beggars.

When I first arrived it was difficult to tell the difference between the people who have to beg and the people who choose to. After being here for a few years, I'd like to think that I'm a bit more clued up on this distinction.

Take the old lady who stands outside the Diesel shop on Couch Street for example. I read in the Oregonian that her son has followed in his mother's footsteps and taken up begging too. Lucrative business apparently. I wouldn't be surprised if at the end of every day she returns home to her penthouse suite in the Pearl.

Then right across the road there's a guy who stands outside Whole Foods of all places, asking for money so he can buy some Caribbean chicken wings. I don't even eat Whole Foods Caribbean chicken wings. Have you seen the price of those things?

So I thought I had seen it all, until I was told about a girl who stands by one of the MAX stops downtown, with a sign saying "Tired of sucking c*ck for crack. Give me money".

Now honesty usually goes a long way, but I reckon this particular approach would probably be about as successful as England were in Euro 2008.

How not to present

I was at a conference in Portland the other week where there were many E-marketing experts presenting... also known as the "Titans of E", as the leaflet put it. Whoever came up with that ridiculous name was definitely on the blue smarties.

Charlene Li (fellow petite oriental lady and social media superstar) was first up, followed by Mike Moran (IBM search marketing guru and potential stalking target). They stole the day as expected and set a high standard.

So how do you follow up people like this? Not sure. But now I know how not to do it, thanks to a certain VP of Disney Online.

Maybe feeling a little on the insecure side, he started off his presentation...

"As an MBA graduate from an Ivy league university, I could have done anything and worked anywhere - Wall Street, any Fortune 500 company..."

At this point, twat alerts rang from every corner of the room, and a once engaged audience started paying no attention to a word he said over the next 40 minutes of his presentation. At one point he did try to reel the audience back in, but he was met by uninterested looks by people who wished he did go to Wall Street. At least then he would be 3,000 miles away instead of here.

My lessons of the day:
1. No-one likes a bragger
2. Twat alerts are deadly so don't set them off

Window surfing

I stayed in this weekend in a conscious effort not to spend any money. I failed miserably.

Staying in wasn't the problem. The problem was more to do with all of the things you can do when you stay in...

Like finding my way onto the NikeID site and custom making a pair of trainers. And going onto the Playstation network and buying new song tracks on RockBand and SingStar. I hate how they make it so easy.

The Internet can be so evil.

Exercising couch potato style

This morning I ran three miles, played some tennis, did some skiing, a bit of snowboarding and then finished up in a penguin costume catching fish in the North Pole.

The funny thing, was that I never even left the comfort of my home to do this.

How great the Wii Fit is. But still, what an odd concept of using a games console to keep youself healthy and excercised.

What happened to the days of going out on your bike and breathing fresh air. I used to do those things, before I discovered cars and got lazy. Now I just laugh at myself doing excercises in front of the TV.

By the way, my Wii Fit age is 40. The way my creeky bones are feeling right now, I can believe it.

Against the odds

Most people you meet, you instantly forget about. But there are a select few who's words of wisdom stay with you.

My University tutor, Stuart was one of those people. Stuart was from Newcastle and sounded like he should have starred in Byker Grove, alongside Ant and Dec.

"Imelda, lass" he said to me one day as I sat outside his office particularly disheartened. "Whether ye like it or not, ye gonna have to work twice as hard as everyone else to get to where ye wanna be".

He was of course referring to the fact that in this dog-eat-dog world of business and politics, there was me. A petite, vertically challenged, oriental girl who looked the best part of 15. If I saw me, I'm not sure I would take myself seriously either. I'm not particularly outspoken, or brash, or tall, or glamourous, or burley. Just very short and very young looking.

I admire his honesty to this day. Now every time I get round to that first meeting with agency-types who I talk on the phone with and Email back and forth, I'm ready for the sudden look of confusion on their faces, followed by the usual questions that try to determine if I am even of legal drinking age. When that happens I smile and think of Stuart.

Thanks for the heads up lad. Ye aalreet, ye are.